singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do herpes really smell.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hippo gnu deer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
