38 yer olds are good kisserssss
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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