Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Two words: nipple clamps
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