Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
