I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
