halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
