Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
