5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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