i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
