I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
