My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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