I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
