Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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