Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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