I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
