god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize