I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
