hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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