you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize