would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
