He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
