Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
