Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize