i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
