Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
