I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
