How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
