I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
