I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
