Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
