The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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