No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
