upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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