i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
