Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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