there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
