i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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