This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
