you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
