I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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