the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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