Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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