better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize