No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
