I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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