Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
