M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
