A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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