Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!

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(607): View more from New York

I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

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(+44): View more from England

You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked

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(678): View more from Georgia

Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people

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(540): View more from Virginia

Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(561): View more from Florida

I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.

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