Sry I called you an 8
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize