i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
