and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
