u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
