i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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