Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
