U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
