i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
