why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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